Marriage Counseling

3 Keys to Success in Marriage Counseling 

»Posted by on Dec 5, 2017 in Marriage Counseling | 0 comments

Over the years, people have different perception about marriage counseling. Some couples who have had marriage counseling before said that it was just a waste of time and that their marriage wasn’t saved at all. Marriage counseling doesn’t always work and it’s not the counselor’s fault. We can say that those who did not succeed in the counseling did not succeed in marriage too. We understand that there is no perfect marriage. There’s always struggle, fights and misunderstanding. But what makes it beautiful is how the couples make an effort to stay in love with each other despite the circumstances.  

Marriage Counseling 

Counselors and therapists like are there for a reason. They provide couples therapy for married couples who have troubles with their marriage. They offer a safe and compassionate place to talk about the client’s problems and how to solve them. Counselors will provide many kinds of therapy and sessions depending on the client’s needs. However, the question is still there. Despite the effort and therapy of the counselors, why are there still failed marriages after counseling?  

It’s easy to answer that question. In every therapy, no matter what kind, the most important factor in its success is the client factor. What couples bring to the therapy, their fears, their attitude and their beliefs will affect the success of the counseling. That’s why the reason why couples failed in marriage counseling is that they did not try hard enough to save their marriages.  

To guarantee a success in marriage counseling, you should do the following.  

Don’t be Disappointed Too Soon 

You may think your marriage can’t be saved that’s why in one or three sessions you say right away that the therapy won’t work. If you go to a counseling hoping to solve a 5-year old problem in 3 therapy sessions, let us tell you right away that it doesn’t work that way. If you, yourself, haven’t solved those problems in 5 years how do you expect to solve it just like that? Other people think that it won’t work because they don’t get immediate result. They have so much expectation that they don’t want to be disappointed, so they quit.  

When you go to a therapy session, do not think that it won’t work. If you think that your marriage won’t work even if it still can, then it won’t really work. If you think marriage counseling won’t work for you, so is your marriage.  

Focus on Growth and Development 

Instead of saying to yourself that counseling doesn’t help, why not focus on your growth as a couple? Those who did not succeed did not focus on trying to help their selves and their partner. For example, how can you be more communicative with your partner? How can you be less controlling? How can you be more appreciative?  

There is an opportunity for you to grow, like mentioned marriage is not perfect. Marriage is an opportunity to experience the best in yourself and the best of your partner. Remember that it won’t be successful if the two of you doesn’t try.  

Set Realistic Expectations 

We have unrealistic expectation about marriage, that’s why other people leave because they can’t get that expectation. Don’t expect your spouse to give you everything you need and don’t expect your counselor to fix your marriage. A counselor is an instrument and the couples should do the work.  

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